That must have been some trip to Rio (Your house is NOT on fire)

July 2013

"Anthony Weiner's campaign manager quit. He says he's applying for a much less stressful job that has a better chance of success. He is trying to get Paula Deen elected president of BET." –Craig Ferguson

"Pope Francis today said he will not judge priests who are gay. In response, gay priests said they will not judge Pope Francis for wearing that robe with those shoes." –Conan O'Brien

"Pope Francis went to Rio in South America and announced that he would not judge anyone who is gay. That's what Pope Francis said. That must have been some trip to Rio." –David Letterman 

"The French Riviera, over the weekend, had a $53 million jewel heist, and the police went into action. They've rounded up Sean Connery, Michael Caine, Lindsay Lohan, and the mastermind of the jewel heist — Carlos Danger, gaucho of love." –David Letterman

"Republicans have accused Carlos Danger of being in the United States illegally." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Just look at his casinos. Oh wait, you can't, they're gone (Sean Connery malware)

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced that voting on the [healthcare] bill would be delayed until after the Fourth of July. It's a smart move. You don't want to strip people of healthcare until after the holiday that mixes booze and explosives. –Stephen Colbert

The New York Times said Donald Trump "faltered in his role as a 'closer.'" Yeah, usually, he's a great closer. Just look at his casinos. Oh wait, you can't, they're gone. –Stephen Colbert

If you haven't heard, there's been another global cyber-attack. This time, hackers unleashed a virus called GoldenEye, which you may remember as the name of Pierce Brosnan's first James Bond film. Which means it's a pretty good virus, but your dad still thinks Sean Connery's malware was better. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

Cruz locks himself in a transgender bathroom and vows never come out

The Indiana primary was today and we’re this much closer to having a president who starts Twitter fights with Cher. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump had a big win. Indiana is a basketball state. He’s worried that if he spent too much time there, people might try to grab his orange head and try to dribble it. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump now leads Ted Cruz by 42 points, which is too many points. Is anybody else starting to feel bad for Ted Cruz? Poor guy probably wants to lock himself up in a transgender bathroom and never come out. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump is trying to spread the tabloid story that Ted Cruz’s dad is somehow involved in the assassination of JFK. While I’m pretty sure Rafael Cruz didn’t have anything to do with the assassination of JFK, he does look like a James Bond villain from the Sean Connery era. –Jimmy Kimmel