You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak (NOT Your Friends)

"Much like the Republicans, the Democrats are also going to have a mystery speaker. I believe it's Mitt Romney's dog." –Jay Leno

"After watching Clint Eastwood last night, be honest, Sarah Palin is not looking too bad now, is she?" –Jay Leno

"Hurricane Isaac turned out to be not much of a threat to the Republican convention. But to their credit, the Republicans had a contingency plan. If the hurricane did hit hard, delegates were instructed to evacuate to Mitt Romney's tax shelter." –Jay Leno

"A group of coal miners in Ohio said that their bosses forced them to attend a Mitt Romney campaign event. You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak." –Conan O'Brien

"Some of the Republicans, I think, are overreacting to Hurricane Isaac — like today Rick Santorum was seen gathering up two of every animal." –Jay Leno

"Clint Eastwood was the mystery guest tonight at the Republican convention. Finally, a senior citizen who scares Paul Ryan." –Jay Leno

"Last night at the convention, the scheduled appearance of a three-dimensional Ronald Reagan hologram was canceled at the last minute. Of course they canceled the 3-D hologram. They didn’t want to upstage Mitt Romney. He's only one dimensional." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

To the 19th century, and step on it (water hazards)

According to Ivana Trump’s new book, President Trump once left his son Donald Trump Jr. stranded on a tarmac after he was five minutes late for a flight. Even worse, Eric’s been in an overhead bin for the last two years. –Seth Meyers

This weekend five former [presidents] teamed up at a benefit to raise money for hurricane relief. President Trump couldn’t be there to help the victims of flooding because — and this is true — he was working on his own water hazards. –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Just look at his casinos. Oh wait, you can't, they're gone (Sean Connery malware)

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced that voting on the [healthcare] bill would be delayed until after the Fourth of July. It's a smart move. You don't want to strip people of healthcare until after the holiday that mixes booze and explosives. –Stephen Colbert

The New York Times said Donald Trump "faltered in his role as a 'closer.'" Yeah, usually, he's a great closer. Just look at his casinos. Oh wait, you can't, they're gone. –Stephen Colbert

If you haven't heard, there's been another global cyber-attack. This time, hackers unleashed a virus called GoldenEye, which you may remember as the name of Pierce Brosnan's first James Bond film. Which means it's a pretty good virus, but your dad still thinks Sean Connery's malware was better. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535