George Washington's real last name (you should still call the police)

Yesterday in Alabama, a bomb squad was called into a post office to handle suspicious bags that ended up being full of hot dogs. So if you know someone who left a bag full of hot dogs at the post office, you should still call the police. -- Jimmy Fallon

Some more news about the President just came out that during a trip to George Washington's home in Mount Vernon, Trump was amazed that Washington didn't name the property after himself. This is real. Trump said, "if Washington was smart, he would've put his name on it. You've got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you." When a staffer said, "Sir, where you live is named after him." Trump was like, "You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course?" --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Can we make one of those missiles president? (You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course?)

Some more news about the President just came out that during

a trip to George Washington's home in Mount Vernon, Trump

was amazed that Washington didn't name the property after

himself. This is real. Trump said, "if Washington was smart,

he would've put his name on it. You've got to put your name

on stuff or no one remembers you." When a staffer said, "Sir,

where you live is named after him." Trump was like, "You mean

George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf

Course?" --Jimmy Fallon

On Twitter this morning, Trump threatened Russia with missiles that are "nice and smart." And Americans were like, "Can we make one of those missiles president?" --Jimmy Fallon

Researchers in California found that 74 percent of mothers confessed that they like one child better than another. Then one mother said, “Don’t use my name, 'cuz I don't want Jeb to find out.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course? (When murder hornets hit Louisiana)

Some more news about the President just came out that during a trip to George Washington's home in Mount Vernon, Trump was amazed that Washington didn't name the property after himself. This is real. Trump said, "if Washington was smart, he would've put his name on it. You've got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you." When a staffer said, "Sir, where you live is named after him." Trump was like, "You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course?" --Jimmy Fallon

I read that hoarding is getting worse in the U.S. and affects over 15 million Americans. Of course it might be higher now, 'cuz I read that in a newspaper I've been saving since 2003. –Jimmy Fallon

Researchers in California found that 74 percent of mothers confessed that they like one child better than another. Then one mother said, “Don’t use my name, 'cuz I don't want Jeb to find out.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course? (Uh, no, I don't play for the Jazz)

Some more news about the President just came out that during a trip to George Washington's home in Mount Vernon, Trump was amazed that Washington didn't name the property after himself. This is real. Trump said, "if Washington was smart, he would've put his name on it. You've got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you." When a staffer said, "Sir, where you live is named after him." Trump was like, "You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course?" --Jimmy Fallon

Actually, this is very interesting. I read that the cloak that Kit Harington wears on the show is actually a rug from IKEA. Yeah, when he heard that, President Trump was like, "Who cares? So is my hair." --Jimmy Fallon

Producers for "Game of Thrones" confirmed that President Obama has requested and will receive episodes of the show's new season before it airs on HBO. So he can call up the Republicans and spoil it for them. “Jon Snow's alive! Bye.” –Jimmy Fallon

"Jeb Bush is facing criticism after it was just revealed that he checked off his race as 'Hispanic' on a voter registration form back in 2009. When asked if he regrets it now, Bush said, 'Si.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama just made his first presidential trip to the state of Utah. Obama spent his time in Utah just like you'd expect — telling people, 'Uh, no, I don't play for the Jazz.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course? (obviously it’s not a soft drink)

Some more news about the President just came out that during a trip to George Washington's home in Mount Vernon, Trump was amazed that Washington didn't name the property after himself. This is real. Trump said, "if Washington was smart, he would've put his name on it. You've got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you." When a staffer said, "Sir, where you live is named after him." Trump was like, "You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course?" --Jimmy Fallon

Actually, this is very interesting. I read that the cloak that Kit Harington wears on the show is actually a rug from IKEA. Yeah, when he heard that, President Trump was like, "Who cares? So is my hair." --Jimmy Fallon

Meanwhile in Zambia an energy drink has been banned after it was found to contain viagra. So, obviously it’s not a soft drink. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Buy two and the next one is Free Willy (But I guess he was stupid)

We here at "Late Night" have a lot of expenses, and to cover the cost, we have taken on some pretty, well, terrible sponsors, sponsors we aren't very proud of, sponsors I'm ashamed that we took money from. But because we did take their money, we now have to mention them on the air. So, apologies in advance, but tonight, "Late Night" is brought to you by salted Band-Aids. The Band-Aids with a little dash of salt. Forget about your paper cut and focus on how bad this Band-Aid feels. Also available in lemon juice. Next up, vape clarinets. Looking to combine the two things high schoolers find coolest? Try vape clarinets. Vape clarinets -- get addicted to jazz. We're also sponsored by whale jerky. We believe whales should be a protected species, but should one dead one wash up onshore, we will make jerky out of it. Buy two and the next one is Free Willy. --Seth Meyers

According to Politico, while on a guided tour of Mount Vernon last year, President Trump couldn't understand why George Washington didn't name the compound after himself, saying, "If he was smart, he would have put his name on it." Trump then added, "But I guess he was stupid," before returning to Washington, D.C. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”