I’m just spitballin’ here, what say we invade Poland? (I was paraphrasing him)

“The Colorado Supreme Court ruled yesterday that former President Trump is ineligible to run again for president, while the Florida Supreme Court ruled he already won.” — Seth Meyers

“After facing comparisons to Adolf Hitler, former President Trump said yesterday that immigrants are destroying the blood of our country and added, ‘They said, “Oh, Hitler said that in a much different way.”’ But you’ve already lost the argument if you have to say, ‘Guys, I wasn’t quoting Hitler — I was paraphrasing him.’” — Seth Meyers

“That’s right, after facing comparisons to Adolf Hitler, Trump said that immigrants are destroying the blood of our country and added, ‘I’ve never read “Mein Kampf.”’ Yeah, no one thought you had. I’d be surprised if you read ‘The Art of the Deal.’” — Seth Meyers

“[imitating Trump] Everyone is saying that I’ve read ‘Mein Kampf,’ but that is a lie: I reached the same conclusions as Hitler independently. And while I’ve got your attention — folks, hold on — while I’ve got your attention, and I’m just spitballin’ here, what say we invade Poland?” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it could be anything! (let’s add another hundo)

At a campaign stop in New Hampshire over the weekend, Donald Trump said immigrants were “poisoning the blood of our country”. Many pointed out, accurately, that the term “blood poisoning” was used by Hitler in his manifesto Mein Kampf. But his sycophants on rightwing TV are once again trotting out the same excuses they’ve already used to dismiss Trump’s worst offenses for years now, he added, pointing to the Fox News host Brian Kilmeade, who chalked up outrage over Trump’s comments to people overreacting. They’re not even trying to do that thing any more where they say ‘what Trump really meant was … ’ and then translate his fascism into more polite words. They’re basically saying: ‘Hey, if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it could be anything!’ —Seth Meyers

Well, after marrying his cousin, giving a press conference at a landscaping company and almost masturbating in the Borat movie, Rudy Giuliani has finally slipped up. The verdict against Rudy Giuliani in the Georgia election workers’ defamation case awarded $148m to the plaintiffs, well above what they were asking for. They basically took the maximum, and put a 1 in front of it. Which if you ask me, is the funniest possible choice. They took one look at Rudy and said: ‘There’s no way he can afford to pay $48 million, so fuck it, let’s add another hundo.’ —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump may be crazy, but he’s not Florida crazy (5 star Amazon review 0f Mein Kampf)

Donald Trump met with 200 House Republicans who were described as "nervous." And following the meeting, many of them were described as "Democrats." –Conan O’Brien

Analysts are now saying that Florida could be one of the biggest threats to Donald Trump’s campaign. In other words, Trump may be crazy, but he’s not Florida crazy. –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump is now saying the media took his praise of Saddam Hussein "out of context." Trump also said the media misinterpreted his 5 star Amazon review of "Mein Kampf." –Conan O’Brien

The new edition has a foreword by Donald Trump

Yahoo reports that among its top searches of the year are Minecraft and the Kardashian family. Both of them were searched under the phrase, "two-dimensional brightly colored tools." –Conan O’Brien

Los Angeles is getting much closer to having an NFL team next year. So pretty soon, the Lakers won’t be the only team in LA scoring about 20 points a game. –Conan O’Brien

After years of being banned, Adolf Hitler’s "Mein Kampf" is headed back to German bookstores. The new edition has a foreword by Donald Trump. –Conan O’Brien