Hey, if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it could be anything! (let’s add another hundo)

At a campaign stop in New Hampshire over the weekend, Donald Trump said immigrants were “poisoning the blood of our country”. Many pointed out, accurately, that the term “blood poisoning” was used by Hitler in his manifesto Mein Kampf. But his sycophants on rightwing TV are once again trotting out the same excuses they’ve already used to dismiss Trump’s worst offenses for years now, he added, pointing to the Fox News host Brian Kilmeade, who chalked up outrage over Trump’s comments to people overreacting. They’re not even trying to do that thing any more where they say ‘what Trump really meant was … ’ and then translate his fascism into more polite words. They’re basically saying: ‘Hey, if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it could be anything!’ —Seth Meyers

Well, after marrying his cousin, giving a press conference at a landscaping company and almost masturbating in the Borat movie, Rudy Giuliani has finally slipped up. The verdict against Rudy Giuliani in the Georgia election workers’ defamation case awarded $148m to the plaintiffs, well above what they were asking for. They basically took the maximum, and put a 1 in front of it. Which if you ask me, is the funniest possible choice. They took one look at Rudy and said: ‘There’s no way he can afford to pay $48 million, so fuck it, let’s add another hundo.’ —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh, my God, Trump’s going to win again, isn’t he? (It’s called B.)

In other news, Elon Musk’s brain implant company Neuralink has put out a call for volunteer human test subjects. Well, actually what they said was ‘fresh’ volunteers. I don’t think he should be meddling with something he doesn’t understand, like humans. Now it’s not called the brain any more. It’s called B. —Seth Meyers

“The co-working space company WeWork filed yesterday for bankruptcy. Wait a minute — again? You already went out of business. I watched a whole mini-series about how you went out of business. And you were still in business? Oh, my God, Trump’s going to win again, isn’t he?” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Same-day delivery is gonna be a lot harder when you have to smuggle that air fryer in your b@tthole (stay in your dusky holes)

December 2022

“Let’s talk about wage theft by large corporations, or when companies avoid paying workers what they are legally owed for time spent working. Several companies have been legally forced to pay stolen wages via class-action lawsuits: McDonald’s agreed to pay $26 million to settle accusations of wage theft in a class-action lawsuit by employees in California. Walmart was ordered to pay $4.6 million in backpay and damages to more than 4,500 employees. Amazon settled a wage theft lawsuit for $8.2 million, and Krispy Kreme was ordered to pay $1.1 million after investigators found widespread and frequent failure to pay workers. Huh, that’s so strange – all of this theft occurred, but there’s no mention of anyone going to jail. But then how will they learn their lesson? Oh and before you say, ‘Trevor, you can’t put a corporation in jail’ – says who? They always say corporations are people, so why doesn’t America treat them like American people?” —Trevor Noah

“Every single time a company gets busted stealing their workers’ wages, you know what they should do? They should say that the company’s headquarters need to be taken to prison. You hear that, Amazon? Same-day delivery is gonna be a lot harder when you have to smuggle that air fryer in your butthole.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ed Sheeran’s reign of terror (special military sadness)

“We mourn the death of Queen Elizabeth II, who provided comfort to Britain for over 70 years. She helped weather several financial crises, joining and leaving the European Union and, of course, Ed Sheeran’s reign of terror.” —Stephen Colbert

“King Charles has immediately assumed his late mother’s financial portfolio worth billions, sans the 40% inheritance tax that applies to most British subjects. He’s supposed to be the ultimate public servant, and he doesn’t pay taxes? That is going to cost him some votes.” —Stephen Colbert

“In other news, Ukrainian victories in the east of the country have shattered Russia’s reputation as a military superpower. But don’t you worry, Russia, you’ll always have your reputation as an endless wasteland littered with clinically depressed root vegetables.” —Stephen Colbert

“The defeats have military experts noting that Russian troops suffer from low morale – or as the Kremlin calls it, ‘special military sadness.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”