Best show I ever saw? (Leonardo DiCaprio's next girlfriend)

I'm not sure Facebook understands why we use Facebook. Facebook isn't for finding dates; it's for finding people we used to date. Then we silently judge them, feel better about ourselves. That's the only use for Facebook. --James Corden

A new species of water beetle discovered in Malaysian Borneo has been named, and they've named this beetle after the actor Leonardo DiCaprio. To which Leonardo DiCaprio said, "Thank you? I guess?" Coincidentally, Malaysian Borneo is where Leonardo DiCaprio's next girlfriend was born in 2001. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The cartoon that draws itself (Always a bridesmaid!)

Utility workers here in New York City retrieved a woman’s wedding ring that she dropped down a sewer. While the rat handing it back was like, “Always a bridesmaid!” --Jimmy Fallon

Do you guys know that song “Despacito?” Well, the government of Malaysia has banned the song from radio and TV in that country for having obscene lyrics. They could be right. I’ve heard this song 2,000 times and I still have no idea what it’s about. In Malaysia, the government bans obscene content. Here, the president tweets it. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 @BrandNew535 @justicedems #repealreplacerepublicans

Or as it’s called in Florida, Career Day (This Is Too Easy!)

President Trump yesterday issued a statement calling for paid family leave. Which is a little surprising until you remember that he’s already paid two families to leave. –Seth Meyers

Parents at a Florida school are reportedly outraged after a video surfaced of students in a classroom twerking and giving lap dances. Or as it’s called in Florida, Career Day. –Seth Meyers

Customs officials in Malaysia have seized over 300 tortoises that were being smuggled through the airport. Three hundred tortoises, or as it’s technically known, a McConnell family reunion. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

President Hu and President Huh? (category five super-cyclone)

"What was Earth doing in the run-up to Earth Day? Well, over the last week it gave us a volcano erupting in Peru, earthquakes in Tibet, Indonesia and Japan, freak tornados in America and the Philippines, floods in Hungary, Romania, Malaysia and Kenya, wild fires in Colorado, and a category five super-cyclone that's about to destroy Darwin, Australia. Earth, could you meet me over at camera three please? Hey Earth, how's it going? So I guess kissing your ass doesn't work. We call you beautiful, precious, mother. Gave you your own day. Just like veterans and groundhogs. We even named you planet of the year in 1988 -- even though by any objective estimation that was Neptune's year. We try to make nice, and what do you do? Not only do you kill us in a thousand different ways, but when we raise your temperature by just a degree -- one little degree -- you're all, 'Oh, it's so hot now, my polar ice caps are melting!' You're a pussy! I got news for you, Earth, you're not the only rock in the neighborhood, you know what I'm saying?" --Jon Stewart

"President Bush was hosting the Chinese president at the White House, President Hu. Or as I call them when they're together: President Hu and President Huh? It was actually a very controversial summit. Some think it's wrong to meet a dictator with a deplorable human rights record, but apparently President Hu was okay with it." --Bill Maher

it's a different gay in Arizona -- a dry gay

"According to ABC News, John McCain is forming an exploratory committee to run for president. Not to be outdone, Hillary Clinton is also forming an exploratory committee just to try and keep track of her husband." --Jay Leno

"This week, President Bush is flying to Asia to meet with leaders of Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam. Or, as President Bush calls them, China." --Conan O'Brien

"Last week, the Democrats set a new record. They picked up more seats than Mark Foley did when he was a congressman." --Jay Leno

"It's complex, but the simplest explanation is it's a different gay in Arizona -- a dry gay. It still drove turnout among values voters -- that's why most of these referenda passed, but Republican strategists didn't count on the president being less popular than gay marriage. Apparently, the prospect of continued GOP control of Congress is even scarier than the thought of two men humping in your neighborhood." --Jason Jones, on Arizona voting down a ban on gay marriage

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”