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Showing posts with label Louisville. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Louisville. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 25, 2023

In Canada, a strip tease just means unzipping your outer layer of fleece (the stupidest beer commercial they’ve ever seen)


Canada’s new Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, once put on a striptease show for charity. In Canada, a strip tease just means unzipping your outer layer of fleece. –Conan O’Brien


The University of Louisville is being accused of luring basketball recruits to the school with strippers and prostitutes. To be fair, college ball is supposed to prepare them for life in the NBA. –Conan O’Brien


The trailer for the new "Star Wars" movie made its debut last night during Monday Night Football. "Star Wars" fans called it a titillating glimpse into the new franchise, while football fans called it the stupidest beer commercial they’ve ever seen. –Conan O’Brien


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

I guess it’s just unlucky that protesters happen to keep meeting with the bad 1% over, and over, and over again (One stain)


“Now, to be fair, the Democrats weren’t just kneeling and wearing kente cloth. They also unveiled police reform legislation that would make some pretty big changes, such as banning no-knock warrants in drug cases, which allowed police to enter into the home and kill Breonna Taylor in Louisville in April, and make chokeholds a civil rights violation. And it would make it easier to prosecute police who use excessive force, which is virtually impossible now. Like now, you need to catch them on video, then have a [District Attorney] that’s willing to prosecute them, then have a jury that actually wants to hold cops accountable. Then, after all that, you still need to find the cops Horcrux and destroy it, otherwise they just get to go right back out on the force.” —Trevor Noah

“Meanwhile, Trump doubled down on his backing of police, telling reporters: ‘I say 99.9, but let’s go with 99% of [cops] are great, great people.’ Yes, 99% of all police are great people. And I guess it’s just unlucky that protesters happen to keep meeting with the bad 1% over, and over, and over again.” —Trevor Noah

“I’m not saying that all cops are bad. But the problems with the police are much more widespread than Trump is acknowledging. Because every single time – every single time – a police department gets audited, or investigated, the results that come back time and time again show deep rot and systemic issues often from the top. It’s like turning on a black light in a hotel room – there’s no way you’re only going to find one stain.” —Trevor Noah

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

That's the war in Iraq. Everybody over here is pretty much in favor of bombing the %#$@ out of you



"Osama bin Laden released an audio tape today claiming more attacks on U.S. soil were imminent, yet also offering a truce to help rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan, which I guess is sort of an olive branch. A burning olive branch. It's a mixed message. Now, first of all, Osama said he offered a truce because polls show the majority of Americans are against the war. Here's what he doesn't understand. That's the war in Iraq. Everybody over here is pretty much in favor of bombing the %#$@ out of you." --Jon Stewart


Her office is on the second floor of the West Wing, not far from the Oval Office. I suspect they put her there so somebody can run and grab her in case her father decides to nuke anything. She might be the only one he’ll listen to. –Jimmy Kimmel
Meanwhile, poor Tiffany Trump can’t even get the White House Wi-Fi password. –Jimmy Kimmel
The president was in Louisville, Kentucky, last night. He held a rally there. Why, I’m not sure — he might be trying to sell hats he had left over from the campaign. –Jimmy Kimmel


Tuesday, March 21, 2017

JOKES: I haven’t seen Wisconsin and Michigan knock out the favorite since ... the election (Mar-a-Lago)



There were actually several March Madness upsets this weekend, with Wisconsin taking out top overall seed Villanova, and Michigan beating Louisville. I haven’t seen Wisconsin and Michigan knock out the favorite since ... the election. –Jimmy Fallon
A man claims that this weekend, he snuck past Secret Service at Mar-a-Lago to take a selfie in President Trump’s private study. But Trump is denying this, saying there is no way he’d ever have a study. –Jimmy Fallon
Yesterday was the L.A. Marathon. Actually there wasn’t supposed to be a marathon — people on the 405 freeway just gave up and got out of their cars. –Conan O’Brien