Boy, that'll teach him (but of course, the news leaked)

"The White House is very upset about a bunch of secret documents about the Afghanistan war that were leaked online. Out of habit, BP apologized." –David Letterman

"BP is firing its CEO, Tony Hayward. They're negotiating a settlement for $18 million. Boy, that'll teach him." –David Letterman

"Tony Hayward is stepping down as CEO of BP. They weren't supposed to make the announcement yet, but of course, the news leaked." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”