"Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president.
Security was as tight as Governor Christie's yoga pants." –David Letterman
"I have nothing against the North Koreans but this Kim
Jong Un has got a screw loose. A member of his cabinet, his security minister,
nods off, falls sleep. We've all done it. Kim Jong Un takes the guy out and has
him executed, just for just falling asleep. Oh, and he was also deflating
footballs." –David Letterman
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