"The big story is Bruce Jenner. In last week's interview,
Jenner said he's a woman who is transitioning his body from male to female, and
he's also a conservative Republican. Bruce said he looks forward to bashing
Obamacare as soon as he finishes using it." –Conan O'Brien
"A U.N. study claims the happiest country in the world is
Switzerland. When asked why they're so happy, Swiss people couldn't answer
because their hands were counting money and their mouths were full of
chocolate." –Conan O'Brien
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