"George W. Bush gave a commencement speech at Southern
Methodist University this weekend. It was pretty inspirational. He said, 'As I
like to tell the 'C' students, you too can be president.' Even George W. Bush
has George W. Bush comedy material in his act." –Jimmy Fallon
"During a charity boxing match on Friday, Mitt Romney
lasted two rounds against Evander Holyfield and raised a million dollars. It
was just like Holyfield's fight with Mike Tyson, except Romney chewed off his
other ear talking about his 18 grandchildren." –Jimmy Fallon
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