"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver might be splitting up. Arnold's friends say he is doing everything he can to win his wife back. He just burned every single copy of 'Jingle All the Way.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Donald Trump says he uses Head & Shoulders on his hair. As a result, Head & Shoulders is suing Donald Trump for slander." –Conan O'Brien
"Newt Gingrich announced that he's running for president on Twitter and Facebook. I think his concession speech will be on YouTube." –David Letterman
John Hulse painting
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