"The Rapture-predicting preacher, Harold Camping, is really scaling back his predictions. He now predicts the end of the month will be May 31." –Jay Leno
"Donald Trump now says he may run for president as an independent. And when Donald Trump says he's going do something, Donald Trump . . . says he's going to do something." –Jimmy Fallon
"Rudy Giuliani says he may run for President. So now we're up to 7 candidates and 35 ex-wives." –Jimmy Fallon
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