It's my Olympics and I intend to win a whole bunch of silvers

"The important thing for people to know is that I'm gonna be runnin' for president every four years for the rest of my life. It's my Olympics and I intend to win a whole bunch of silvers." –Tina Fey as Sarah Palin



"As for boning up on experience and policy, I'm planning a trip to the Middle East, where I will be filming a cameo on Hangover 3, the third hangover. And I also recently purchased Rosetta Stone English." –Tina Fey as Sarah Palin



"Stop saying 'we' got Osama. 'We' didn't do anything. 'We' were watching 'Celebrity Apprentice' and eating Funions in our sweatpants. Seal Team 6 did the killing, with money we borrowed from Beijing; that our grandchildren will have to pay back. So it was a joint Navy Seals/People's Bank of China/grandchildren operation." –Bill Maher 

John Hulse painting