A mediator, and arbitrator, and a translator

"Al Qaeda has released an audio tape by bin Laden made this afternoon. 'Glugguuguuuugllgluuug.'" –Jay Leno

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have split up after 25 years of marriage. It's the first marital separation that will require a mediator, and arbitrator, and a translator." –Conan O'Brien



"Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won 'Apprentice.' Because nothing says 'not racist' like making a black man run your errands." –Conan O'Brien



John Hulse painting