“The government’s paycheck protection program (PPP), which set aside $342 Billion to help small businesses through the pandemic shutdown. A couple weeks ago, before most businesses could receive help, that money disappeared faster than Rudy Giuliani in direct sunlight. —Trevor Noah
“Congress returned with a second round of $310 Billion, but still, the money did not get to the businesses, as the Small Business Administration website portal for loan applications crashed almost immediately after launch on Monday. But it’s not just computer issues: it turns out that the reason small businesses haven’t been able to get their money, is because the big businesses have been snapping it up. In the first round of the funding, $810 Million went to large, publicly traded companies, some with market values of over $100 Million, including the national restaurant chain Shake Shack and the Los Angeles Lakers. I don’t care what anybody says, the Lakers do not need $4 Million. The Knicks need $4 Million to bribe their fans to act like they don’t see what’s going on.” —Trevor Noah
“It’s important to remember that although what these big companies did was shitty, it wasn’t illegal. They saw a chance – a chance to get money – and they took it. Which is what companies are always gonna do. Which raises the question: why didn’t the government come up with regulations to make sure that the money for small businesses actually went to small businesses? Instead of keeping the big dogs out, the treasury ceded authority to the banks, and then the banks did what the banks do, which is: screw over the little guys. Already, a lawsuit against four major banks – Bank of America, US Bank, Chase and Wells Fargo – alleges the banks prioritized bigger customers (with their bigger bank fees) over small businesses. The PPP situation proves you can’t leave the loan decisions up to the banks, as banks are businesses – they’re always going to take care of its top customers first.” —Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
