someone behind the podium who wasn’t wearing deer antlers and a pelt (whose theme was Eyes Wide Shut)

April 2021

“Joe Biden was the first president to deliver the speech in front of a mask-wearing audience. If you don’t count Bill Clinton’s last State of the Union, whose theme was ‘Eyes Wide Shut.’” —Stephen Colbert

“President Biden tonight laid out the specifics for his ‘American Families Plan.’ Trump had a family plan, too, but his was to give jobs to everyone in his family.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“That’s right, the Capitol took center stage tonight, and I got to be honest, it was nice to see someone behind the podium who wasn’t wearing deer antlers and a pelt.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, it was a fun night for Democrats. On the other hand, Republicans didn’t seem too thrilled. They looked like they just heard their best hope in 2024 is Randy Quaid.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s the first turkey basted with Grecian Formula (six more weeks of president)

December 2020

“Well guys, today, President Trump took a break from his busy schedule of retweeting Randy Quaid and carried out the presidential tradition of pardoning a turkey. The bird needed to be pardoned after it was let down by its bumbling lawyer, Rooster Giuliani.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Five Randy Quaid retweets. Two, sure. Three, that’s pushing it. Five? I think that makes him secretary of agriculture.” — James Corden

“It’s the first turkey basted with Grecian Formula.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“There you have it — an innocent turkey pardoned by a lame duck.”— Stephen Colbert

“Yes, it’s a lucky, lucky bird to have a better legal team than the president.” — Stephen Colbert

“Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his hole today. He knows that if he comes out of his bunker and sees his shadow, he’ll only have six more weeks of president.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He barely has time to buy and sell urine on Craigslist (but somehow, it’s even more full of crap)

November 2020

“President Trump retweeted Randy Quaid five times yesterday. Quaid, of course, is most famous for trying to erect a Randy Quaid museum, or claiming he’s on the run from a celebrity-killing organization called the Hollywood Star Whackers, or showing up in court wearing a sheriff’s badge, or posting disturbing sex tapes in which he and his wife are having intercourse below a picture of Rupert Murdoch. Obviously, Randy’s a busy guy — barely has time to buy and sell urine on Craigslist.” — Stephen Colbert

“So, a crazy guy retweeted another crazy guy performing the first crazy guy’s crazy tweet. It’s like watching two toddlers try to change each other’s diapers, but somehow, it’s even more full of crap.” — Stephen Colbert

“The only person listening to Randy Quaid is his therapist, which, unfortunately, is an old boot he put a hat on.” — Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Randy Quaid makes Gary Busey look like Dr. Fauci (our president retweeted that person five times today)

November 2020

“In the first appearance, the president held an impromptu news conference where he took credit for the stock market’s success. In the next, he pardoned a turkey named Corn. And yet, he still had time to retweet several of the actor Randy Quaid’s Twitter posts, including one that featured a video of Quaid dramatizing one of Trump’s tweets about Fox News. For those who remember Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie from the ‘Vacation’ movies, he has a long list of accomplishments outside acting: He’s been arrested a few times, he tried to get asylum in Canada, he believes there’s a group called the Hollywood Star Whackers that is plotting to kill him — and our president retweeted that person five times today.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Let’s just say Randy Quaid makes Gary Busey look like Dr. Fauci.” — Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Trump's announcement opens the door for Randy Quaid and Gary Busey (all of whom are late night comedians)

"Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters — all of whom are late night comedians." –Conan O'Brien 

"Both Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump have announced they will not run for president. Huckabee's announcement opens the door for Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum, and Trump's announcement opens the door for Randy Quaid and Gary Busey." –Conan O'Brien 

"Republican candidate Ron Paul came out for the legalization of heroin and prostitution, unfortunately not in time to be cast as Charlie Sheen’s replacement on 'Two and a Half Men.'" –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trump's announcement opens the door for Randy Quaid and Gary Busey

"Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters — all of whom are late night comedians." –Conan O'Brien 



"Both Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump have announced they will not run for president. Huckabee's announcement opens the door for Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum, and Trump's announcement opens the door for Randy Quaid and Gary Busey." –Conan O'Brien 



"Republican candidate Ron Paul came out for the legalization of heroin and prostitution, unfortunately not in time to be cast as Charlie Sheen’s replacement on 'Two and a Half Men.'" –Conan O'Brien

Trump once called Ronald Reagan a con man who couldn't deliver the goods

"Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head." –Conan O'Brien 



"Gary Busey said on the 'Today Show' yesterday that Donald Trump would make a great President. Now Trump just needs endorsements from Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen." –Conan O'Brien



"It just came out that Donald Trump once called Ronald Reagan a con man who couldn't deliver the goods.' Trump also called Abraham Lincoln 'a bearded moron who couldn't even sit through an hour of theater.'" –Conan O'Brien