A woman's place is in the revolution (Huh, so we have had a gay president)

October 2022

Hurricane Ian hit Florida this week, and governor Ron DeSantis called it a 500 year flooding event. In fact, it’s such a historic tragedy that DeSantis won’t let them teach about it in public schools. —Michael Che

The Electoral Count Reform Act was approved by all members of a senate committee except for Ted Cruz. Coincidentally, everyone except for Ted Cruz is also who Jesus loves. —Michael Che

While performing in Washington, Pop Star Lizzo played a crystal flute on stage that once was owned by James Madison. Huh, so we have had a gay president. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Those flamingoes are clearly doing coke in there (because nothing projects ‘winner’ like a Confederate soldier in Pennsylvania)

September 2022

“Our hearts go out to the people of Florida right now after Hurricane Ian barreled into the state with record winds, rainfall and a storm surge of 18 feet. But there was still humor to be found. At one botanical garden in St Petersburg, a bunch of flamingoes huddled in the public bathroom to ride out the storm. Really? They all just went to the bathroom at the same time? Those flamingoes are clearly doing coke in there.” —Stephen Colbert 

“And some Floridians have even found catfish in their front yards. To make matters worse, they were nowhere near as hot as their profile picture.” —Stephen Colbert 

“We checked on the governor’s race in Pennsylvania, where Republican nominee and Trump devotee Doug Mastriano is struggling in the polls, in part because, according to political scientists, he suuuuucks. Among the ways: Mastriano attended the January 6th riot at the Capitol, has associations with Christian nationalists, proposed charging women who violated an abortion ban with murder, is connected to a social media site run by a known antisemite, and was photographed wearing a Confederate uniform. Because historically, nothing projects ‘winner’ like a Confederate soldier in Pennsylvania.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Like when someone wears a long-sleeve shirt to wrestle a gator (Why Not Us?)

September 2022

“As we speak, Hurricane Ian is slamming into Florida, and I honestly hope that everyone in the Sunshine state is staying safe. Like I mean, rest of America safe, not like Florida safe, you know? Like when someone wears a long-sleeve shirt to wrestle a gator.” —Trevor Noah

“Just be safe safe. Because I know you guys are brave, but this hurricane – I mean, you heard Governor DeSantis, he said, ‘this thing is the real deal’. Not like the usual stuff I tell you to be scared of, like drag queens or critical race theory. I’m talking real! Like I might fly myself to Martha’s Vineyard.’” —Trevor Noah

“The devastating category 4 storm that hit Florida overnight Wednesday included sustained winds of over 150mph, with a storm surge of 18 feet. This shit is wild! But I also had to wonder: why do we still name natural disasters? It’s a weird thing we do. We don’t do that with personal disasters. There’s no doctor who’s ever been like ‘I have some bad news … Jeremy has spread to your brain.’” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Plus, so awkward to ask for. (Don't mind if I do.)

September 2022

“We had been anticipating the next January 6th hearing on Wednesday, but the House select committee postponed it as Hurricane Ian barreled towards Florida. We hope everybody in Florida stays safe. Please, if you can, get out of the storm’s path. Worst-case scenario, tell Ron DeSantis you’re Venezuelan, maybe he gives you a free plane ride to Martha’s Vineyard.” —Stephen Colbert

“In international news, Putin’s war in Ukraine has been going so badly that the Russian leader ordered a draft, prompting many Russians to flee. Those who haven’t been able to leave have called hotlines to ask how to surrender. I get why they want to pre-emptively surrender, look at this video of a group of Russian soldiers instructed to bring tampons to the frontlines to stuff into bullet wounds. Tampons to plug gunshot wounds? That is awful. Plus, so awkward to ask for.” —Stephen Colbert

“And Buckingham Palace released King Charles III’s official monogram design. Take that, people who say the monarchy is an outdated institution that does nothing! They. Release. Monograms.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”