Anyway, that’s why you always wipe down the equipment (Now you know why)

April 2022

A Brazilian man was forced to go emergency surgery after he got a four pound dumbbell stuck in his anus. He then shoved it back up there and said, “Two.” Anyway, that’s why you always wipe down the equipment. —Colin Jost

Google Earth has released a new feature that allows people to see a time-lapse of how their neighborhoods have changed over the last forty years. “Don’t remind me,” said my grandpa. —Colin Jost

Krispy Kreme is running a promotion offering a dozen doughnuts for $4.11 cents, which is the average price for a gallon of gas. But that’s counter productive because now your car is going to have to work even harder to drag your fat ass around. —Colin Jost

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

B-extremely negative (You Don't Know Dick, pt. 2)

   

"Tonight we reveal another Dick-nugget with Part II of our classified number of parts series, 'You Don't Know Dick.' 

What did the vice president of the United States recently have removed? 

Is it A) blood clots in his legs -- by the way, the vice president's blood type: B-extremely negative. Did he have his tramp stamp removed? ... Or, C) himself from the visible world. 

Believe it or not, the answer is C. 

While the White House and the Capitol appear crystal clear on Google Earth, the Naval Observatory, the vice president's official residence, appears only as an obscured mass of pixels. 

That's a shrewd move on Cheney's part, aimed to protect him from evil-doers savvy enough to know how to use Google Earth but too dumb to realize they can still find him on MapQuest. " --Jon Stewart

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html