My staffers have been playing that prank on me for six months! (his worst nightmare)

I saw that Rob Kardashian just got engaged to model Blac Chyna. Yeah, “Blac Chyna.” Or as Donald Trump calls that, “his worst nightmare.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday was April Fool's Day and get this: Mitt Romney's staffers played a prank on him by staging a campaign event in an empty room. Or as Newt Gingrich put it, 'My staffers have been playing that prank on me for six months!'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

PLEASE give her some more hush money (his worst nightmare)

I saw that Rob Kardashian just got engaged to model Blac Chyna. Yeah, “Blac Chyna.” Or as Donald Trump calls that, “his worst nightmare.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Ted Cruz raised over a million dollars after announcing that he’s running for president. Which is why today RadioShack announced that it is also running for president.” —Jimmy Fallon

A lawyer for Stormy Daniels went on Megyn Kelly’s show today and said, “She can describe the president’s genitalia in great detail.” Then Americans were like, “PLEASE give her some more hush money.” --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

bring out a cake and let Hillary cough out the candles (Blac Chyna edition)

Hillary Clinton is here and today is my birthday! Later we're going to bring out a cake and let Hillary cough out the candles. –Jimmy Fallon

They just announced that during the second presidential debate the moderators will be picking questions based off of what's trending on Facebook. Which will explain their opening question, "Is Blac Chyna too good for Rob?" –Jimmy Fallon

Last week Trump revealed his child care proposals, including a plan to guarantee six weeks of paid maternity leave. Mothers will get six weeks off, as long as their babies can produce their long-form birth certificates. –Jimmy Fallon

You’re the worst part of this cake! (Trump Turns 70)

Donald Trump celebrated his 70th birthday today. And I guess instead of blowing out his candles, he just insulted them until they put themselves out. “You’re too hot! You smell like wax! You’re the worst part of this cake!” --Jimmy Fallon

Sunday’s episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” revealed that Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney found out Rob was engaged to Blac Chyna by reading it online. In Rob’s defense, that’s also how the Kardashians find out they’re even in the same room together. --Jimmy Fallon

I read that a NASA spacecraft, “Juno,” that launched in 2011 is scheduled to arrive at Jupiter in July to take pictures of the planet. When asked what kind of camera it brought, Juno was like, “Crap!” --Jimmy Fallon

Or as Trump calls that, “his worst nightmare.”

Bernie Sanders won on the Democratic side in the Wisconsin primary. Sanders' Wisconsin supporters celebrated by drinking Old Milwaukee, or as Bernie calls it, "Young Milwaukee." –Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump suffered a big loss yesterday in Wisconsin to Ted Cruz. Or as Trump put it, "I hit a wall. A big wall. And I'm going to have to pay for it." –Jimmy Fallon

I saw that Rob Kardashian just got engaged to model Blac Chyna. Yeah, “Blac Chyna.” Or as Trump calls that, “his worst nightmare.” –Jimmy Fallon

The chair that J.K. Rowling sat in while she wrote the first two Harry Potter books went up for auction today. So if your kid is a big Harry Potter fan, this would be the perfect gift to disappoint them. “It’s the chair where a lady sat when she wrote them! Go ahead! Sit in it!” –Jimmy Fallon