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Friday, August 20, 2021

Suck it, Ryan Gosling! (Oklacovid!)


August 2021

“I know you want to hear me talk about the big story everybody’s talking about right now. The chaos surrounding the recent poorly handled regime change — over at ‘Jeopardy!’” —Stephen Colbert


“The game show’s search for Alex Trebek’s successor, which included tryouts by guest hosts like LeVar Burton and Katie Couric, ended last week when the executive producers of Jeopardy! selected executive producer Mike Richards. Wow, what are the odds? Exactly the same as me getting named ‘Stephen Colbert Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.’ Suck it, Ryan Gosling!” —Stephen Colbert


“But since then, crude comments about women, Jews and Haiti that Richards made on a podcast years ago have emerged. Ooh, looks like Richards’s job might be in … jeopardy!” —Stephen Colbert


“Earlier today OnlyFans announced that it’s going to block all X-rated content starting in October. Reportedly, ‘OnlyFans was struggling to find outside investors because of its adult content.’ Evidently, pornography does not live up to the high moral standards of investment bankers, unless it’s them [expletive] the economy. Then it’s fine.” —Stephen Colbert


“Now, there’s a bright side to banning shots of where the sun don’t shine, because OnlyFans says while sexually explicit material will be banned, nudity that is not sexually explicit will remain allowed. So you can only post nude images that would never turn on anyone — and, I’m sorry, I just don’t need the money that badly.” —Stephen Colbert


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

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