When asked how he was treating it, the man said, "New pants." (Baxter?! Baxter!)

A woman running a marathon in Thailand reportedly found a lost puppy during the race and continued to carry the dog while running the remaining 19 miles. It...sounds nice, until you realize she just carried the puppy 19 miles further away from home. "Baxter?! Baxter! You don't think one of those runners picked up Baxter?" "Don't be ridiculous!" --Seth Meyers

A new study suggests that a parasite found in cat pee can be linked to schizophrenia. Finally, a reason to stop drinking cat pee. --Seth Meyers

And finally, a man in England claims that his penis swelled to the size of a wine bottle recently after fracturing his urethra. When asked how he was treating it, the man said, "New pants." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”