"According to a new study, smog is drifting across the
Pacific Ocean from China and polluting our West Coast. Can't we make anything
in this country anymore?" –Jay Leno
"Here's something I find hard to believe. Anthony Weiner
makes between three and four hundred thousand dollars a year as a political
consultant. Anthony Weiner! How bad are you doing in the polls when you start
saying to yourself, 'What would Anthony Weiner do now?'" –Jay Leno
"We need rain. Governor Jerry Brown has declared
California to be in a state of drought emergency. So ladies, when I ask you to
take a shower with me, I'm just trying to conserve water." –Conan
O'Brien
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