42 percent of his presidency

"You probably all heard about President Bush's nickname for Vladamir Putin, Pootie-Poot. See, he likes to give nicknames to everybody. He calls his dad '41', because he was the 41st president, and he calls Dick Cheney 'Boss.'" —Jay Leno

 "As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings." —Craig Kilborn

"The Washington Post reported that if you add up all the time Bush has spent in Texas, he's there for a whole month. Then you add up all the time he spends at Camp David, and his parents house in Maine and add up all the travel time getting to and from these places, and it adds up to 42 percent of his presidency. In fact, he'd actually have to win a second term just to complete his first term." —Jay Leno