"In
anticipation of the Winter Olympics, a female curling champion released some
sexy photos of herself curling in lingerie. When asked for comment, Americans
said they're still not going to watch curling." –Conan O'Brien
"Immediately after the State of the Union address, Joe
Theisman delivered the Prostate of the Union." –David Letterman
"Oprah Winfrey is 60 years old today. All federal
offices and banks are closed." –David Letterman
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