"Actor Steven Seagal says that he is considering running
for governor of Arizona. It’s looking pretty good. They said if the election
were held today he would actually beat Dolph Lundgren." –Jay Leno
"Liz Cheney has decided to pull out of her Senate
campaign race in Wyoming — thus making her the first Cheney with an actual exit
strategy." –Jay Leno
"In
advance of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, the Russian government announced that,
contrary to popular belief, people in Russia will be allowed to protest. But
only in a special protest zone – known as 'Siberia.'" –Jay Leno
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