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Saturday, March 19, 2016

As a black doctor…



Amazon just filed a patent for technology that allows customers to “pay by selfie,” where customers can verify purchases by taking a selfie. In related news, the Kardashians just went bankrupt. –Jimmy Fallon
Here in LA we celebrate St. Patrick's Day a little differently than the rest of the places. We don't have pots of gold, we have pots of pot here. We call them medical marijuana dispensaries. –Jimmy Kimmel
It was reported yesterday that an op-ed written by Donald Trump seems to have been blatantly plagiarized from an article written by Dr. Ben Carson days before. People first became suspicious when Trump’s op-ed began, “As a black doctor…” --Seth Meyers
A doctor in the U.K. yesterday admitted misconduct charges after he accidentally performed a vasectomy on the wrong patient. Apparently, the patient was pretty upset when she woke up. --Seth Meyers


Then the octopus said...



The hacking group “Anonymous” has apparently declared war against Donald Trump. Of course, hacking him shouldn’t be hard, because if there's anyone who just uses their name as their password, it's Donald Trump. –Jimmy Fallon
Ted Cruz was just featured in Us Weekly’s “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me” column. And on the list he revealed that he was once bitten by an octopus at the beach and got “terribly ill.” Then the octopus said, “Yeah, it took me a while to recover, too.” –Jimmy Fallon
John Kasich, fresh off his win in the Ohio primary, said that if you can't win Ohio, you can't be president. Then George Washington said, “What the hell is 'Ohio'?” –Jimmy Fallon


Thursday, March 17, 2016

Hulse Collected Poems (1985-2015) volume 1



Proceeds being raised for veterans charities including The Paralyzed Veterans of America.


Some reviews of my work:

His poetry will go on being read and studied for years to come. From his pillowcases with magical powers, the consequences of a man coming home five minutes too late, or a Marine platoon in Vietnam making a left turn instead of turning right. The poems build upon one another with lines of creation, then of destruction. Then start all over again with the next poem and the next line. It will wear you down. An overwhelming presence here. And while you are reading, starvation seems inevitable. Survival unsure.
An emotional rollercoaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
Kristina Betts, Lapel Review

It made me blow the dust off my copy of Orwell’s 1984. An amazing compilation.
Susan Hampton, Edgewood Journal

I fully agree with Bukowski Lover's concise review. John Hulse does, indeed evoke the wordplay of the Late CB, but he brings an honesty and openness way to beautiful and fragile, so that you'll weep every time that pure sweetness meets the mean streets of this Reality we all share. He'll make you yearn for its Deliverance, and then, suddenly, you'll know what you must do to save it. ... and you're not alone... even if you feel like it. Hulse evokes here a sort of Matthew 5: 1-12 Beatitudes for our times, through deep-diving, immersive views into the world of Empathy and Mercy, and Compassion that are spell-binding in their simplicity.

This book should be included in the "Welcome to Humanity" Packets for all newcomers. John Hulse is a true Master of the Word, and most tender of Champions for the Human Condition.

Mr. Hulse displays a mastery of the foibles of humanity—specifically men. He’s got a sharp wit, a fresh an interesting take on relationships, and isn’t afraid to push the envelope with his content. His bio discusses his world travels and myriad life experiences, and this reader can’t help but notice how his past very obviously affects his work. It appears to be an organic evolution, because growth in technique, word selection, and image creation is evident throughout. A thoroughly entertaining jaunt through the mind of a man who is without doubt as interesting as his work.

Whenever I’ve had the opportunity to read Mr. Hulse’s work, I am always struck by the mix of brutal honesty and humorous social commentary. He hasn’t failed to impress with this latest release. His jabs at the evil of corporate America, his insights into the dichotomous nature of public America, and his humble and hilarious comments on his personal life never disappoint. His raison d’ĂȘtre is poetry, and this dedication is obvious. With the loss of so many great poets in the last 10 or 15 years, I am glad another voice is there to contribute to the art.


If it makes you feel any better, Marco, we did.



Donald Trump won yesterday’s Republican primaries in Florida, Illinois, and North Carolina. Trump did especially well with white males, Caucasian men, and non-women of no color. –Seth Meyers
While announcing last night that he is dropping out, Marco Rubio told supporters, “We should have seen this coming.” If it makes you feel any better, Marco, we did. –Seth Meyers
President Obama announced today that he is nominating Washington, D.C. Circuit Court Judge Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court. “I can’t win anything this week!” screamed JoJo from The Bachelor. –Seth Meyers


they could make Kanye himself the Clippers mascot



The big win for Trump was in Marco Rubio's home state of Florida. Rubio won one county in his home state, Miami. That was thanks to a last-minute endorsement from the sound machine. –Jimmy Kimmel
A disappointing finish for Marco Rubio. A man who fueled his campaign with all the fire and spontaneity of Vicki the robot from "Small Wonder." –Jimmy Kimmel
Meanwhile, our future president, Kanye West, has a new creative mission. Kanye tweeted to the owner of the L.A. Clippers asking if he could redesign the Clippers' mascot. If he designs mascots the way he names albums we'll see three or four new mascots every week. Or maybe instead of letting Kanye redesign the mascot, they could make Kanye himself the Clippers mascot. –Jimmy Kimmel


Annual Happiness Report



According to the Annual Happiness Report, do you know what the happiest country in the world is? Denmark. Danish people are the happiest. Of course they're happy, they have a pastry named after them. –Jimmy Kimmel
According to the Annual Happiness Report the top 10 were Denmark, Switzerland, Iceland, Norway, Finland, Canada, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Australia, and Sweden. Basically all the countries represented in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. –Jimmy Kimmel
The bad news for the leaders of both parties, both Clinton and Trump have a very high unfavorability rating. Hillary is 53 percent unfavorable, Trump clocks in at an extraordinary 63 percent unfavorable. Which, I think, like only Jared from Subway has higher than that. –Jimmy Kimmel
This election is going to be the political equivalent of having lunch at Panda Express — nobody wins. –Jimmy Kimmel


I can't get any more naked, guys. I’ve shown you everything I got.



Donald Trump won every Republican state primary last night except for Ohio, which went to John Kasich. Trump didn't seem to mind, since, as he put it, “The word Ohio is full of zeros.” (It's 50 percent zeros!) –Jimmy Fallon
Marco Rubio pulled out of the race after losing the Florida primary to Trump by almost 20 points. But he still has a great story. I mean nothing symbolizes America more than the son of poor immigrants growing up to run for president and being crushed by a billionaire. –Jimmy Fallon
7-Eleven will hold its second annual “Bring Your Own Cup Day,” where it will give customers a discounted Slurpee as long as they bring in any container resembling a cup. In a related story, Home Depot just sold out of trash cans. –Jimmy Fallon
Selena Gomez just became the most-followed person on Instagram with almost 70 million followers. When reached for comment, Kim Kardashian said, “I can't get any more naked, guys. I’ve shown you everything I got.” –Jimmy Fallon