August 2020
“Trump’s slapdash series of executive orders, which many have criticized as not only unconstitutional in bypassing Congress, are also untenable. The eviction moratorium, for example, merely advises federal agencies to ‘consider’ whether evictions are necessary. Even Ben Sasse, Republican senator from Nebraska, called Trump’s orders ‘unconstitutional slop’. Damn, unconstitutional slop? I thought that’s what they called the in-flight meals on Spirit Airlines. But you’ve got to give it to Trump, man – he knows that Congress is so gridlocked, they can make even him look good.” —Trevor Noah
“It doesn’t matter if his executive orders are illegal or toothless or completely unworkable. He understands that even the appearance of doing something is better than the appearance of going on recess in the middle of a recession. Which is what Congress is doing for the month of August, although Congress will tell you that they aren’t on recess. Apparently they’re just ‘at home’, but they’ll come back if there’s a deal, which there won’t be, because they’re not working. By and large, between process and proposals, Trump has just created a mess. Freezing the payroll tax, for example, would either hit people with a larger tax bill later or drain social security, which gets its funding from payroll taxes. Trump’s executive orders, are thus like those coupons that you get where it says the good news in big letters: ‘free value meal!’ And then on the bottom it says ‘offer only valid in Alaska between two and four in the morning and if Jerry is working, then you have to share your fries with him.’” —Trevor Noah
