He went right home, where his wife repeatedly kicked him in the testicles (with all the stress, he's gonna need to blow off some steam)

"It hasn't been a great week for Governor Eliot Spitzer. This is a guy who built a career crusading against corruption. He got caught on an FBI wiretap arranging for a $1,000-an-hour prostitute. Spitzer is named as 'Client #9.' Allegedly, Client #9 wired money to something called the Emperor's Club, which is an online service that provides high-end hookers to upscale gentlemen like my Uncle Frank. Client #9 deposited $4,300 into his account and then he had a two-hour interlude with a prostitute name 'Kristen.' Which I think means he has two thousand dollars of credit left over. That'll come in handy -- with all the stress, he's gonna need to blow off some steam." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Eliot Spitzer held a press conference yesterday, where he apologized to his constituents and to his family. He didn't take questions. He went right home, where his wife repeatedly kicked him in the testicles." --Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Only five babies in nine years? (Their main demand is more play time)

December 2022

An Apple factory in China is expected to cut iPhones by 6 million in response to worker protests. Their main demand is more play time. —Michael Che

This week marks the 40th anniversary of the classic Michael Jackson album, Thriller. And say what you will about Michael Jackson, but he definitely had a huge effect on a lot of people’s childhoods. —Michael Che

Merriam-Webster announced that its word of the year is gaslighting. Gaslighting if you don’t know is a word my ex made up to magically win arguments she was losing. —Michael Che

A police officer in New York State is being called the Baby Whisperer after he helped deliver his fifth baby in nine years. ‘Only five babies in nine years?’, said Nick Cannon. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I love Chinese people, I really do (Yeah, have you tried the shrimp?)

And as always, the president invited some special guests to the gallery, with inspiring stories of enduring unimaginable hardship. For instance, Melania. —Stephen Colbert

During the State of the Union, Trump mostly stuck to the script, which included plenty of falsities. No Trump speech would be complete without an absolute, blatant lie. And for tonight’s address, Trump went with an old classic: that he’s the champion of healthcare. At one point, Trump promised an “ironclad pledge” to “always protect patients with pre-existing conditions”. Really? That lie is so extreme that if he was Pinocchio he would’ve impaled Mitch McConnell in his seat.

Here’s the truth: Trump tried to kill protections for pre-existing conditions when he went after Obamacare, and right now – right now! – his administration is in court trying to kill it again. So him claiming to be the champion of protecting pre-existing conditions is like the coronavirus being like: ‘I love Chinese people, I really do.’ —Trevor Noah

Trump’s theme was the Great American Comeback, focusing on the economy and stock market, which is a little like the captain of the Titanic going: ‘Yeah, have you tried the shrimp?’ —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”