And this explains the entirety of Fox News (At least do the honorable thing and lie)

September 2012

"Yesterday, Paul Ryan said that he and Mitt Romney won't reveal their tax plan to the public until after the election. Other politicians couldn't believe it. They were like, 'At least do the honorable thing and lie.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A new poll shows that President Obama has expended his lead over Mitt Romney since the Democratic National Convention. Of course, it didn't help Obama as much as that other event – the Republican National Convention." –Jimmy Fallon

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is scheduled to address the United Nations on the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur. That's like the Kardashians giving a speech on Labor Day." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Martha Stewart carved her Thanksgiving turkey with a shiv (a Happy Endings meal)

Today is Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur, the day the Jewish people asked for forgiveness for Barry Manilow. --Conan O’Brien 9/24/2004

It was Thanksgiving yesterday. It actually was a historic day. For the first time ever yesterday Martha Stewart carved her Thanksgiving turkey with a shiv. --Conan O’Brien 11/26/2004

The Playboy website is going to feature a nude photo spread of McDonald's employees and get this, in a cross-promotion McDonald's is offering a Happy Endings meal. --Conan O’Brien 11/26/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'm going to wait and see what the Andrews Sisters say (Well, I bet that got a nice laugh)

"Today's Yom Kippur and what that means is down in Houston earlier today former President George W. Bush got up early and started looking for Easter eggs." --David Letterman

"Sarah Palin went to Hong Kong, delivered a speech last week. And we're learning more and more about the speech that she delivered there. Palin says China needs to deal with its ethics problems. Well, I bet that got a nice laugh." --David Letterman

"It's interesting now. A lot of people say, they're bragging, 'I didn't lose any money. I'm smarter than that. I didn't lose any money.' For example, Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska, did not lose a penny when the stock market tanked. You know why? She has all her money in pelts." --David Letterman

"Do you folks remember Andy Williams? Fantastic singer. He says that President Obama is following Marxist theory. I said, 'That's interesting. I think I'm going to wait and see what the Andrews Sisters say.'" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trump made the same offer to Gary Busey (Fox News-Keeping Us Infromed)

Stormy Daniels in her new memoir implies that as an exchange for sex, Donald Trump offered to rig "The Apprentice" so she could win. Even worse, Trump made the same offer to Gary Busey — and he took it. --Conan O’Brien

Today, of course, is the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur. This is the day my Jewish writers are out and my Catholic writers have to Google "what is Yom Kippur?" --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

I need slavery like I need a hole in the head (Yom Kippur)

Donald Trump told supporters last night to go out and vote on November 28th, when Election Day is actually November 8th. Unless November 8th is just a lie being spread by the liberal media. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump, last night, criticized Republicans who are dropping support for his campaign, saying, “I wouldn’t want to be in a foxhole with a lot of these people.” Trump made the comment while talking to everyone’s favorite foxhole, Bill O’Reilly. –Seth Meyers

Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, said this morning that Republicans should decide whether or not they support Donald Trump and “stop pussyfooting around.” That’s the worst choice of words since Abraham Lincoln said, “I need slavery like I need a hole in the head.” –Seth Meyers

Today was Yom Kippur, or as Gary Johnson calls it, “The capital of Thailand?” –Seth Meyers

Former House Speaker John Boehner says he still plans on voting for Trump even though he said, “Donald wasn’t my first choice, wasn’t my second choice, for that matter he wasn’t my third choice.” “Who was your fourth choice?” whispered Jeb. –Seth Meyers

The Vatican has a national anthem

It's Yom Kippur today. Jews all over the country honored the day by staying home and watching the Pope on television. –Conan O’Brien

The Pope is at the White House today, the band played the Vatican's national anthem. The Vatican has a national anthem, isn't that crazy? Apparently it's Katy Perry's "Roar." –Conan O’Brien