I need slavery like I need a hole in the head (Yom Kippur)

Donald Trump told supporters last night to go out and vote on November 28th, when Election Day is actually November 8th. Unless November 8th is just a lie being spread by the liberal media. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump, last night, criticized Republicans who are dropping support for his campaign, saying, “I wouldn’t want to be in a foxhole with a lot of these people.” Trump made the comment while talking to everyone’s favorite foxhole, Bill O’Reilly. –Seth Meyers

Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, said this morning that Republicans should decide whether or not they support Donald Trump and “stop pussyfooting around.” That’s the worst choice of words since Abraham Lincoln said, “I need slavery like I need a hole in the head.” –Seth Meyers

Today was Yom Kippur, or as Gary Johnson calls it, “The capital of Thailand?” –Seth Meyers

Former House Speaker John Boehner says he still plans on voting for Trump even though he said, “Donald wasn’t my first choice, wasn’t my second choice, for that matter he wasn’t my third choice.” “Who was your fourth choice?” whispered Jeb. –Seth Meyers