What could possibly go wrong? (Well, how do you like that?)

March 2021

During a congressional hearing Mark Zuckerberg confirmed that he was creating an Instagram for kids. WOW! An app filled with pictures of just kids. What could possibly go wrong? —Michael Che

A school in Virginia is stealing a wallet to a woman 70 years after she lost it in a school gym. ‘Well, how do you like that?,’ said a black man still in jail for stealing it. —Michael Che

A Goldman Sachs executive has bought Jeffrey Epstein’s former upper East Side mansion for more than $50 Million.  Man, if those walls could talk I bet they would commit suicide before they had a chance to talk. —Michael Che

Miller Lite is now selling bar-scented candles including one called Dive Bar. For a preview of the smell, just miss the toilet for a week. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

no one in the Republican Party wants to have the word "minority" in their title (I'm guessing Miller Time?)

Following the midterm elections, Republicans will hold leadership elections this Wednesday, and current House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy is expected to become House Minority Leader. It's tough to find someone to fill the job, because no one in the Republican Party wants to have the word "minority" in their title. --Seth Meyers

President Trump and First Lady Melania attended a ceremony last week to welcome Justice Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. No word on what time the ceremony was held, but I'm guessing Miller Time? --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Finally, a chance to regift this goat (we're screwed. Drink up)

A brewery in Finland created a special beer in honor of yesterday's Trump-Putin summit. When they heard that, some other beers wanted to commemorate the summit as well. So they released new slogans that were inspired by the meeting. Guinness' new slogan is “Things are looking dark. Your beer should, too.” Miller Lite's new slogan is “Weaker than Trump's stance on Russia.” O'Doul's new slogan is “This time with alcohol, because even we need a drink after yesterday.” And Samuel Adams' new slogan is “Take it from a Founding Father, we're screwed. Drink up.” --Jimmy Fallon

A couple in Florida are getting married and instead of wedding presents, they've asked for money to buy goats. Even crazier, one couple they invited was like, "Finally, a chance to regift this goat." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Wardrobe malfunction?! I've never seen a better dressed president (I Spy a Concrete Barricade)

"Patrick Kennedy crashed his car but got out of a breathalyzer test by claiming he was on his way to the Capitol to vote. Apparently Kennedy was going to vote on whether Miller Lite was less filling or tastes great." --Conan O'Brien

"Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright called North Korea's leader Kim Jung Il  a pervert. In response, Kim Jung Il said 'I dare her to put on a leather mask and say that to my ass.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Something happened last night, I was down in Washington, D.C., love it down there, can't get enough of that city. Anyway, I was out with my buddy, Rep. Patrick Kennedy of Rhode Island, and we were driving home, and I suggested we play a game of I Spy a Concrete Barricade. Patrick is a fierce competitor and, well, he won." --Stephen Colbert