It's happening to Americans (Usually, it's the birthday girl who gets to make a wish)

A woman in New York fell into a backyard sinkhole on her birthday, which is weird. Usually, it's the birthday girl who gets to make a wish, not her husband. —Greg Gutfeld 

A federal judge has ordered the Trump White House to restore access to journalists, which means that both CNN and MS Now now have to hire them. —Greg Gutfeld 

Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is considering running for president in 2028. 2028 is also his cholesterol number. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story, Melania just applied to be a reporter for CNN, MS NOW and Politico (Bad news)

“As his popularity continues to plummet, Trump’s fingers go deeper and deeper into his ears. He does not want to hear bad news. Bad news is fake news to Donald Trump.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“But what he’s doing is positively un-American. The five networks, including Fox, joined forces to put out a statement saying, ‘The public has a vital interest in receiving accurate, independent information about its government. No administration should restrict a news organization because it objects to its reporting.’ That’s right. Do you realize how far south somebody has to go for Fox News to defend CNN?” — Jimmy Kimmel

Over the weekend, Trump banned reporters from CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House. In a related story, Melania just applied to be a reporter for CNN, MS NOW and Politico.” — Jimmy Fallon 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh, here’s a positive story (Have you tried presidenting better?)

The hottest spot in D.C. has just changed their door policy, after President Trump barred CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House last Friday. The president revoked their press credentials, saying he was tired of reading their “negative stories” and calling them “fake news.” Have you tried presidenting better? — Jon Stewart 

“You could ban the press, or you could be a better [expletive] president.” — Jon Stewart

“I mean, give the press something to work with. Oh, here’s a positive story: ‘I never thought my car could take $140 worth of gas in such a small tank!’” — Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”