if each doll was being escorted out by security (the incredibly tiny Zacharian window)

“Oh my god, what are the odds? Kimberly Guilfoyle got fired during what scientists call the incredibly tiny Zacharian window?” — Seth Meyers

“Guilfoyle got fired and then the person who announced her firing also got fired. It’s like a Russian nesting doll if each doll was being escorted out by security.” — Seth Meyers

“She got fired so fast, I can barely remember her name. I think it was Kayleigh Macarena? Kareed Zakaria? Kasey Sackapotatoes? I don’t know. I feel like I’m close.” — Seth Meyers 

“Well, we were only on hiatus for one week, and we missed an entire White House press secretary. Five days, that’s how long she lasted. She got hired, gave one press briefing and then got fired so fast the melon in her ‘welcome aboard’ Edible Arrangement was still safe to eat.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, thanks for changing the subject (Let us see who is the strongest)

President Trump’s latest press secretary, Katie Zacharia, was ousted on Friday after only five days at the White House. It’s not good when the edible arrangement you got on your first day is still edible on your last day. It’s finally ripe. — Jimmy Fallon

“Meanwhile, Kimberly Guilfoyle was like, ‘Hey, thanks for changing the subject.’”— Jimmy Fallon

“Five days. Kash Patel was like, ‘Damn, I’ve had hangovers last longer than that.” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We must weather the possibility of happiness (without getting cursed out in Slovenian)

In other Trump news, the president announced that he would be cancelling Pete Hegseth’s plans to livestream a military execution by firing squad, because there are many very good and well-meaning people would rather not watch him die. The execution of Nidal Hasan, a former army major and psychiatrist who shot and killed 13 people and wounded 32 at Fort Hood in 2009, was set for 3 December. But Trump had second thoughts after realizing that the man they would be executing is in a wheelchair. I guess he realized he’d have a hard time selling ads on a live stream of a paralyzed man being executed by firing squad, and what’s the point if he can’t make a little bit of money on it, right? —Jimmy Kimmel 

I wonder if he’ll show the same kind of mercy to his new future former press secretary, Katie Zacharia whose first week on the job was less than stellar. On Thursday, the former fringe network commentator tried to set the record straight on questions about her status as an attorney, and it turns out that Katie Zacharia is an attorney in the same way George Santos was a volleyball champion. Zacharia has yet to confirm when or where she passed the bar exam; the Wall Street Journal reported that Zacharia failed the California bar exam after graduating from law school there in 2011. His press secretary is supposed to be answering questions about his lies, not hers! But the truth is, he didn’t hire her to be his lawyer. He didn’t really hire her to be his press secretary. He hired her so he could squeeze into a helicopter with her and Natalie Harp, his fellow blond assistant – and rub his cankles against a woman’s legs without getting cursed out in Slovenian. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”