They said 30 years of jumping “groin-first” into a flagpole must’ve finally caught up to him (Must be nice)

Nintendo fans are worried about Mario’s brother, Luigi, because in a trailer for a new game, he appears as a ghost. They said 30 years of jumping “groin-first” into a flagpole must’ve finally caught up to him. --Jimmy Fallon

SeaWorld is letting 125 employees go. Or as the animals put it, “Must be nice.” --Jimmy Fallon

"The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”