They said 30 years of jumping “groin-first” into a flagpole must’ve finally caught up to him (Must be nice)

Nintendo fans are worried about Mario’s brother, Luigi, because in a trailer for a new game, he appears as a ghost. They said 30 years of jumping “groin-first” into a flagpole must’ve finally caught up to him. --Jimmy Fallon

SeaWorld is letting 125 employees go. Or as the animals put it, “Must be nice.” --Jimmy Fallon

"The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Oh, no, don't — you don't breathe in the air. That's even worse (it got weird when someone caught him letting air out of the balloons)

"Doctors are telling the Rio athletes competing in water sports not to put their heads under water to avoid getting sick. So remember, if you're swimming at the Olympics, swim above the water. Athletes asked how they were supposed to swim with their heads in the air, and doctors were like, "Oh, no, don't — you don't breathe in the air. That's even worse." –Jimmy Fallon

Happy birthday to Tom Brady, who turned 38 years old today. He had a great party, but it got weird when someone caught him letting air out of the balloons. –Jimmy Fallon

"The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.' (everyone else is too scared to compete next to him)

July 2012

"The Olympics have just started and the Greeks are already 14 medals in debt." –Conan O'Brien

"Mitt Romney is getting a lot of attention for a series of gaffes he's made while he's in London. And in response, Romney said that he has nothing but respect for the people of England, especially their monarch, Queen Latifah." –Jimmy Fallon

"The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him." –Jimmy Fallon

"Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Next week, President Obama will celebrate his 51st birthday. Obama already got one really nice gift: Mitt Romney’s trip to London." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”