How’d you get your battery to last that long?! (it would be modeled after his presidential campaign)

"Scotland announced that it will legalize gay marriage. I don't know what's bigger news, that Scotland did that or that a country where guys wear plaid skirts didn't already have gay marriage." –Jimmy Fallon

Police in Maine just pulled over a man who drove a scooter all the way from Massachusetts using his cell phone as a headlight. Police had a lot of questions, mainly, “How’d you get your battery to last that long?!” --Jimmy Fallon

In his closing comments, Rand Paul said that he is running to create a government so small that you can barely see it. Paul said it would be modeled after his presidential campaign. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”