It will make your digestive system say, ‘Jesus Christ.’ (Onion Rings)

And republicans please stop pretending that this is a Second Amendment issue and just admit that you love guns more than people you don’t know. I mean these are your political ads with you holding all kinds of guns. Look at these ads. You look like you’re running for President of ISIS. If you actually cared about the Second Amendment, you would also care about the well regulated militias part. And I don’t know if Mike Pence noticed when they almost hung him two months ago, but our militias aren’t super well regulated. —Colin Jost

Pepsi announced a new Peep’s flavored soda for Easter. It’s perfect for Easter because it will make your digestive system say, ‘Jesus Christ.’ —Colin Jost

This week, I kind of felt like Biden on those stairs. You thought it had to get better, but then it repeatedly got worse. In the wake of the Colorado and Atlanta shootings President Biden called for universal background checks for gun purchases. And background checks are a great start but shouldn’t we also do current checks. Like ‘what are these guys up to now’. Like how much Call of Duty are they playing? Have they recently DM’d a girl ‘Hey’ thirty times? Or how about this? If you want a gun, the gun store has to talk to at least five people from your life who agree that it’s a good idea for you to have a gun. It’s really not that much to ask. You have to list three references on an application to work at Foot Locker. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”