The closest I ever came is when I was born (77% disapproval rating!)

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman."--Pat Paulsen (1968)

"All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian."--Pat Paulsen (1968)

I never went bungee jumping. The closest I ever came is when I was born.--Demetri Martin

"Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word." –John Oliver

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”