“There is a close Senate race in Georgia between the Rev Raphael Warnock and former football star Herschel Walker. Walker, a Trump supporter and anti-abortion candidate, has faced numerous scandals throughout his campaign – he lied about his work with law enforcement, the number of children he fathered, and that he graduated from the University of Georgia. At this point, I want to meet the Herschel Walker that Herschel Walker thinks he is. He treats real life the way we treat dating apps – you know, just in your profile like ‘I’m one of the tallest people you’ll ever meet, I founded my own industry, and my mom lives with me, not the other way around.’” —Trevor Noah
“But the bigger thing about Herschel Walker isn’t all the lying and the hypocrisy. He’s also just weird. Walker gave one of my favorite answers ever in politics, when he was asked about the biggest problem facing America today and responded: ‘We have so many celebrities telling people that they can’t do it. Telling a lot of people that you gotta feel bad for yourself, feel sorry for yourself, which is sad to me because they’ve done it. But they telling you you can’t do it.’ The biggest problem? You think the average American right now is saying, ‘I know inflation is bad right now, but the bigger issue is that Vin Diesel has never told me to follow my dreams! I could’ve owned a bakery by now.’” —Trevor Noah
Nancy Pelosi’s 82-year-old husband was assaulted by a lunatic with a hammer, he went to the hospital with a fractured skull. While Pelosi was in the hospital, Donald Trump Jr. tweeted a picture of white underwear with a hammer, calling it his ‘Paul Pelosi costume’. What is wrong with these people? And by the way, I have my Donald Trump Jr. costume ready – it’s hair gel, a bag of a white powder and a penis pump. Put that on, you shameless wart on your father’s nutsack. This is the ‘family values’ gang we’re seeing here.” —Jimmy Kimmel
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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