"I'm sorry the show is on later than usual. It was delayed by the president's speech about the gulf oil spill. Obama has been criticized for not doing enough. To be fair, he's been using every strategy in the book. Unfortunately, it's the same book President Bush used for Katrina." –Craig Ferguson
"Donald Duck and Donald Trump are very different of course. One’s a noisy cartoon character with a feathery a** and the other one’s Donald Duck." –Craig Ferguson
"The U.S. is scheduled to play Germany soon at the World Cup. President Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel already have a bet going. The loser keeps Hasselhoff." –Craig Ferguson
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”

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