“Well, guys, it’s been a tough couple of days for the Giuliani family. First, Rudy Giuliani — I don’t know if you heard this — he claimed that he was assaulted at a grocery store, but security footage showed that it was more of a pat on his back. And then, last night, Rudy’s son Andrew Giuliani lost the Republican primary for New York governor. Yeah. His biggest weakness? Name recognition.” —Jimmy Fallon
“It was a tough night for Andrew. He gave his dad a big hug, and then Rudy accused him of assault.” —Jimmy Fallon
“Andrew, honey, I hope you know that you lost, not because of your swollen bee sting head, or because you’ve got a smile like a jack-o’-lantern, or because you have zero qualifications. You lost because your last name is now toxic, because your dad had one week after 9/11 when he was considered a hero, but then he blew it when he went [expletive] nuts. There are so many questions left unanswered. Would Andrew have lost if his dad didn’t try to overthrow democracy from a landscaping store, or sweat gravy during a press conference? We’ll never know.” —Chelsea Handler
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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