Oh, good. Because our number one concern here is, how are you guys doing? (Luckily for us, now he wants to be in charge of people)

A new Election Commission report just came out saying that the Trump campaign isn't doing so well financially, and is practically broke. It's not good — in fact today, Trump stole a bunch of towels from his own hotel. –Jimmy Fallon

"On the Republican side, today former Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he is running for president. While growing up he wanted to be a veterinarian, but his grades weren't good enough. Luckily for us, now he wants to be in charge of people." –Jimmy Fallon

"On the Today Show this morning, BP executive Bob Dudley said that CEO Tony Hayward is committed to BP, and BP is committed to Tony Hayward. Oh, good. Because our number one concern here is, how are you guys doing?" –Jimmy Fallon

Since a judge approved AT&T's merger with Time Warner, experts say it could open up the door for other big companies to merge. We took a look at some companies we'd like to see merge, just because of what they could rename themselves. I'll show you what I mean. For example, if Saks Fifth Avenue and Citigroup merged, they'd be "Saks and the Citi." If Myspace and eBay merged, they'd be "my bae." If Chili's and Netflix merged, they'd be "Netflix and Chili's." And finally, if Bonobos and Dunkin' Donuts merged, they'd be "Bo-Dunk-a-Dunk." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”