I’ll keep that in mind if I’m ever innocent (“No, we’re not,” said your microwave.)

After President Trump attacked Special Counsel Robert Mueller in the Russia investigation on Twitter, Republican Rep. Trey Gowdy said, “When you are innocent, act like it.” Said Trump, “I’ll keep that in mind if I’m ever innocent.” --Seth Meyers

Ivanka Trump is reportedly getting an office in the White House in addition to security clearance and government-issued communication devices. Even more unbelievable, so is Donald Trump. –Seth Meyers

A new poll has found that a majority of Americans believe the government is spying on them. “No, we’re not,” said your microwave. --Seth Meyers

Starbucks announced today that they are introducing a new Caramelized Honey Frappuccino to their menu. And then your dentist announced he’s buying a new boat. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”