Mike Pence’s tie was so straight, it made me suspicious (The good news is, I've adopted her)

President Trump began his State of the Union speech with his tie crooked in his jacket. While Mike Pence’s tie was so straight, it made me suspicious. --Colin Jost, SNL

New York City lawmakers have proposed a new law to change the sound of emergency vehicle sirens to resemble those used in Europe. That way you can spend your time in the ambulance pretending you have universal healthcare. --Colin Jost, SNL

"A teenage New Jersey girl found a 20 pound brick of marijuana while cleaning the beach. The good news is, I've adopted her."--Amy Poehler on Saturday Night Live

Delta Airlines has introduced a new plane that features windows in the bathroom. Unfortunately, they face into the cabin. --Colin Jost, SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”