“The good news is that the pandemic is getting better. The bad news? Your ass is going home for the holidays. Unfortunately for those of us who loved having an all-pie Thanksgiving alone, this year, we might be able to enjoy a relatively normal Turkey Day. In terms of Covid, things are safer than they were last year, though health experts are still urging some precautions, such as knowing the vaccination status of guests and ventilating the space. You should also take further precautions if any of your guests are immunocompromised or if they’re young children who haven’t received the vaccine. For example, since children under five aren’t yet able to get vaccinated, you might want to leave them in the car with the window open a crack. And before someone complains – yes, I know, you also need to leave them an iPad. Jesus Christ, I’m not a monster! For the rest of you non-bleach drinkers who believed in science and have been vaxxed all along, it’s my most sincere regret to wish you a happy semi-back to normal Thanksgiving this year. Suck it up, stay safe, and maybe next year we’ll get lucky and be wiped out by an asteroid.” —Samantha Bee
“In New York City, health officials have been advised to give booster shots to all adults who want them. Any chance we could expand that to adults who don’t want them? Because they’re the problem. Just deputize the Times Square Elmos to jab anyone who comes within tickling distance.” —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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