It turned out he had an impacted peep (the magic of Siegfried and Roy)

March 2013

"Last year at Easter, Governor Chris Christie was rushed to the hospital. It was an emergency. It turned out he had an impacted peep." –David Letterman

"Last year there was some trouble at the White House's Easter egg hunt. One kid looking for eggs turned up Obama's birth certificate." –David Letterman

"Today is the second day on which the Supreme Court heard arguments for and against same-sex marriage, commonly referred to as gay marriage, which is commonly referred to as the magic of Siegfried and Roy." –David Letterman 

"The current marriage act defines marriage as a union between one man and one impossible woman." –David Letterman 

"I hope they legalize gay marriage because I need to be alive when 'Gay Divorce Court' hits the air. That's how I'll be spending my days." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”