He celebrated quietly with half his money (Pope Francis is missing)

"The government is just a few days from running out of money to pay their bills. The latest plan is to see how much cash they can get for John McCain on 'Antiques Roadshow.'" –Conan O’Brien

"Happy birthday to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He celebrated quietly with half his money." –David Letterman

Pope Francis is calling for an audit of all the Catholic Church’s wealth. In a related story, Pope Francis is missing. –Conan O’Brien

"Evil Democrat Empire? I got news for you, if we're going to do the Star Wars analogy, the Democrats are, at best, Ewoks." --Jon Stewart, on a Republican spoof video comparing Democrats to the evil Empire in Star Wars

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”