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Friday, June 26, 2020

Damn, now we can’t travel to New York and Connecticut (Wow, that must be some wall)


“Things are so bad in the rest of the country that New York, New Jersey and Connecticut will now require certain out-of-state travelers to quarantine upon arrival. So if you’re from out of state and want to visit the Big Apple, fuhgeddaboutit! Seriously, they don’t want you there.” —Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, New York, Connecticut and New Jersey. Tourists were like, ‘Damn, now we can’t travel to New York and Connecticut.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, the European leaders disapprove of Trump’s handling of the virus. Right now, the only ones who approve of Trump’s handling of the virus is the virus.” —Jimmy Fallon

“When Europe said they’d block Americans from entering, Trump was like, ‘Wow, that must be some wall.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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