June 2011
"You know the big news today, Congressman Anthony Weiner resigned. You heard about that, right? He resigned. It’s sort of a good news/bad news thing. The good news is Congressman Weiner resigned. The bad news, he made the announcement shirtless over Skype." –Conan O'Brien
"Yesterday Congressman Weiner contacted Nancy Pelosi to let her know he was resigning. Weiner let her know by texting her a picture of his penis cleaning out its desk." –Conan O'Brien
"According to a poll, over 50 percent of viewers thought Mitt Romney won this week’s presidential debate. They thought Mitt Romney won, yeah. Romney credits the win to his grasp of the issues and the good people at Mattel, who built him." –Conan O'Brien
"According to a new study, American fathers are spending more than twice the amount of time with their children than they used to in years past. Experts say it's due to a sweeping new trend called 'unemployment.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Many people have noticed that Sarah Palin likes to use 'flippin'' instead of the 'f' word. For instance, one email says, 'I wish my daughter and Levi Johnston would stop flippin'.'" –Conan O'Brien
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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